


Goodnight

by Trismegistus (Lebateleur)



Category: Death Note
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:20:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3325574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lebateleur/pseuds/Trismegistus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light likes cleansing the world of evil.  He likes not being bored.  And he likes getting his way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in October 2010. It's set right around Page 42 in the manga.

L curls into a fetal position when he's asleep, sucking contentedly on the thumb he's forever biting during the day.

 _As if he were nursing,_ thinks Light, who's disgusted by any sign of weakness, even if it's displayed during sleep while its owner isn't aware of it.

He should do it now, before L wakes. (He doesn't allow himself to use L's real name, even in his thoughts, because there's a chance he might become too comfortable with it and use it aloud to L's face. He is certain of his ability to deal with such a situation in the event that it arises, but all things being equal, he'd rather it occur on his terms.) He's come so far, and every second spent without acting is a second in which L might find the evidence that connects Light to Kira.

But...to end the game now... Light has never faced an opponent like L, never been so equally matched in terms of intelligence, determination, mental resources. A life without such an opponent seems unbearably dull, by comparison. He _needs_ L, needs the challenge and uncertainty L presents.

Even now, Light is terribly pleased with himself. It was a dangerous gamble - forfeiting the Note, assuming he was intelligent enough to follow the clues about Kira's identity back to himself and regain the Note again. But that's exactly what he did, his own certainty of his innocence while the Note was lost earning him L's admiration of his talents and the grudging admission that he probably wasn't Kira in the bargain. 

And along with that had come L's trust, and the recognition that Light was perhaps the most intelligent person he'd ever met, aside from himself. Light basks in this attention, in the knowledge that he's outmaneuvered L so elegantly. 

He wonders if it's the closest he'll ever come to being in love. He wonders if he will ever love anything in his life. He wonders if that matters, and decides that it doesn't. He's going to save the world from itself; what is the ability to love a single human being compared to _that?_

He should just do it now. To _not_ do it is a sign of weakness, and he detests weakness. To not do it endangers his life, and with it the very future of the world.

He rises, careful not to disturb L, and lovingly retrieves the Note from its hiding place. He sits down, opens it to a blank page, and takes a pen in his hand. Light has always believed in doing things properly, so he writes the name carefully, stroke by stroke, with an attention to detail that would make any calligraphy master weep for joy. 

And then, under L's name, his _real_ name, he writes:  Insanity, followed by suicide, contingent upon discovering that Light is the original Kira.

He shuts the note and carefully returns it to its hiding place, and the satisfaction of another skillfully executed entry keeps him warm until he's back in bed.

Light does not want to live a life without L. Light cannot allow L to discover who he really is. And Light does not see why he can't have it both ways.


End file.
